Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the school
All the students were training, accept one fool.
The bags were hung by the rafters with care,
In hopes that Howard soon would be there.
The students were nestled all snug in their stances,
While visions of chain punches in their head dances.
And Sifu in full uniform with black sash a flowing,
helps others be like Howard - kung fu all knowing.
When out on the lawn arose such a clatter,
the students sprang out to see what was the matter.
Off the mat and past the dummy they flew,
And out the back door they left as a crew.
The moon on the breast of the newly-laid gravel,
Gave order to mid-day like a judges gavel.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But Howard on a riding mower -- a John Deer!
With a hair challenged driver, so lively and skilled,
I knew in a moment, my kung fu was fulfilled.
More rapid then eagles his strikes finally came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
"Now Bong Sau! now, Wu! now, Jut Sau and Huen!
On, Lap Sau! On, Jeet! on, on Tan Sau and Kuen!
To the bridge of the nose! to the side of the head!
Center line! Center line! Especially on Fred!
As dry leaves driven by a Stihl blower do fly,
Howard's flurry caused the students to cry.
So down the center line he did pursue,
with nothing his classmates could manage to do.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on Dave's chest,
the sound of a Howard palm coming to rest.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
the last thing I saw, was Dave falling to the ground.
Howard was dressed in all black, except for his sash,
Though outranked by some, not in this clash!
A bundle of skill he hid in those sleeves,
kung fu greatness Howard achieves.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his fist so merry!
His punches made their noses as red as a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
To trash talk, insult, and generally crow.
The last bite of cupcake he held tight in his teeth,
As the lawnmower's smoke encircled him in a wreath.
He had a bald head and the sweat made him smelly,
But his power turned their structure completely into jelly!
He could run vast distances, though not very fast,
Nathan laughed when he saw him, and now wears a cast!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know, I was soon to be dead.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to work.
He countered every strike, and then went berserk.
After twenty punches landing to my nose,
I forgot my Wing Chun and simply froze!
He sprang to his mower, and put it in gear,
His classmates he left, inspiring fear.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Someday like me, you might learn to fight!"
All the students were training, accept one fool.
The bags were hung by the rafters with care,
In hopes that Howard soon would be there.
The students were nestled all snug in their stances,
While visions of chain punches in their head dances.
And Sifu in full uniform with black sash a flowing,
helps others be like Howard - kung fu all knowing.
When out on the lawn arose such a clatter,
the students sprang out to see what was the matter.
Off the mat and past the dummy they flew,
And out the back door they left as a crew.
The moon on the breast of the newly-laid gravel,
Gave order to mid-day like a judges gavel.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But Howard on a riding mower -- a John Deer!
With a hair challenged driver, so lively and skilled,
I knew in a moment, my kung fu was fulfilled.
More rapid then eagles his strikes finally came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
"Now Bong Sau! now, Wu! now, Jut Sau and Huen!
On, Lap Sau! On, Jeet! on, on Tan Sau and Kuen!
To the bridge of the nose! to the side of the head!
Center line! Center line! Especially on Fred!
As dry leaves driven by a Stihl blower do fly,
Howard's flurry caused the students to cry.
So down the center line he did pursue,
with nothing his classmates could manage to do.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on Dave's chest,
the sound of a Howard palm coming to rest.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
the last thing I saw, was Dave falling to the ground.
Howard was dressed in all black, except for his sash,
Though outranked by some, not in this clash!
A bundle of skill he hid in those sleeves,
kung fu greatness Howard achieves.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his fist so merry!
His punches made their noses as red as a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
To trash talk, insult, and generally crow.
The last bite of cupcake he held tight in his teeth,
As the lawnmower's smoke encircled him in a wreath.
He had a bald head and the sweat made him smelly,
But his power turned their structure completely into jelly!
He could run vast distances, though not very fast,
Nathan laughed when he saw him, and now wears a cast!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know, I was soon to be dead.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to work.
He countered every strike, and then went berserk.
After twenty punches landing to my nose,
I forgot my Wing Chun and simply froze!
He sprang to his mower, and put it in gear,
His classmates he left, inspiring fear.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Someday like me, you might learn to fight!"
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